Thursday, July 13, 2006

Slut

This is the dumbest thing I have ever read. And how about the second to last paragraph about how the median number of sexual partners for women between 30 and 44 is four (?!?!?). Where I come from there is a word for women like that: Liars. Puh-leez.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Blazers and Blouses

What the fuck is up with business attire? I recently started two summer gigs here in DC and one of them is in a gray, windowless cube farm where I am required to "dress for business" even though I sit at a computer all day and the only people I really see are the receptionist (who greets clients by phone and not in person, because you have to have an encoded card to get into the building) and my supervisor. Today, that supervisor told me that her boss asked her why I don't wear a blazer to the office. As she says this I am standing in front of her in striped dress slacks, a button down shirt, and a cutely matching (if I do say so myself) light sweater vest. Everything was clean, my hair was pulled back, no visible tattoos. How in the hell would a blazer make the situation any different? Am I just unaware of my own slovenliness and everyone on Earth, except for people like me, knows that blazers are the secret to masking inherent unprofessionality? Give me a fucking break. My supervisor isn't the sharpest of dressers and wears ugly shoes that show off her shitty pedicure. BUT. She keeps a blazer in her office, er, foamboard partitioned cubicle. So, I guess that redeems everything else.

I am beginning to believe that these business attire sanctions are being brought down on me as a demonstration of power relations in the office. It's a passive aggressive way for me to constantly be reminded that I am lowly intern (as if having it following my name on the email list isn't enough; there are 16 employees, I think people will remember which one the intern is) and so am not expected to have a personality. The excuse is that clients could pop in anytime, the reality is that they never do because the building houses a government agency and you gotta know the secret knock to get in. I have seen one client in the weeks that I have been there and he was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. He maybe looked in the direction of my cube for half a second. And I wasn't wearing a blazer, so chances are he's taking his business elsewhere and will tell all of his undoubtedly powerful peers to never step foot in that office.

I guess I just like to bitch about this job. I am officially a professional intern. I guess I could just suck it up and dress the part, but what I really want to do is wear something ridiculous (like a Juicy sweatsuit with matching fuzzy visor) and then flop down into my cube while saying something like, "Fuckin' A, my dogs are killing my ass" and then rip a big fart that echoes throughout the 8 foot high cubes of my not-peers. I think that if these people had any idea how well dressed and behaved I actually am while I am in there compared to the horror that the rest of the world is witness to, they might let the whole blazer thing go.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The Basics

It's been blazing hot in Austin. It's the type of weather that makes everything move a little slower. Several days ago, knowing that we really had no other choice, Eastside, Spearlma, and myself decided to spend the afternoon on a porch under a fan drinking margaritas. It was the sort of drinking session that started with really well articulated conversation and banter that eventually devolved into us slamming our hands down on the table and burping out phrases like, "Lemme tell you a lil' sumfing" with one eye crossed. You know, a typical afternoon with the girls.

Anyway, we gots to talking about men, er... I mean, boys and decided that it was high time that we distinguished basic characteristics and qualities that guys must have if they are to be even remotely considered for potential dating. What prompted this conversation were some realizations about how little we have come to expect from guys. I think most people have criteria of some sort that they follow when it comes to the type of person they would like to date. I just think women have to compromise what they want more than men do. Okay, they don't HAVE to compromise, they just do. Or so it seems lately. Hence, The Basics: a semi-short list of qualities and characteristics that my girlfriends and I will use to navigate potential dates or mates. Essentially, if the dude I am dating lacks these things, I personally know, it will never go anywhere. Here they are in random order:

-ORAL SEX: Quite simply, if he doesn't do it, he is getting dumped. Oral sex should be offered without question, without whining, without complaining, and without need for an instruction manual (although women are usually happy to help!). Seriously, these are in completely random order. And don't try to give me any shit about a double standard, what is given (really, really well) is bound to be returned.

-SENSE OF HUMOR: It's really not enough to have a sense of humor anymore, a guy really needs an ability with humor. And not in a completely self-deprecating way, although being able to laugh at yourself is key. Humor should be playful and not immediately be met with defensiveness or always used in passive aggressive ways. If a man is pissed off at a woman, he shouldn't express it by making fun of her (and vice versa, of course). Goofiness. Laughability.

-TOLERANCE: Tolerance in this case refers to open-mindedness, not to a man putting up with a woman's, say, inappropriate and obnoxious drunken behavior in public (although, in my case, it's a must!). Social tolerance, not a bigot, or a fundamentalist. A slight amendment to this is a man who has specific convictions, about his religion for example, that he can articulate with reason.

-HEALTHY: No addictions, be it to drugs, booze, sex, Star Trek, gambling, computer games, porn, etc. Active, gets out of the house, tries new things, isn't incased in a world that doesn't have anything to do with the actual world around him. Seriously ladies, if you are still dating drug addicts or booze hounds or anyone that makes you take a back seat to a chemical or an inanimate object or a fantasy world, find another project. He will never change for you, so it's better to find one that is already interested in his own well-being.

-JOB: Must have a job or clearly articulated professional goals AND the skills and qualifications to meet those goals. And, I'm sorry, but wanting to be a rock star is not a professional goal, even if he plays an instrument. Unless he is some sort of musical prodigy, it's a hobby. No one is saying that men shouldn't explore new things and do what they love and be supported, they just need to have some fucking goals and some strategy for reaching them.

-TRANSPORT: Men need to have a license and a car or else some other sort of viable transport. Just be self-sufficient enough to get where you need to go. Or else you are annoying.

-TWO SPOONS RULE: This is Spearlma's genius, and it stems from a story— Spearlma and a guy she was (WAS) dating decided they wanted to eat some cereal, so they go into the kitchen, Spearlma grabs two bowls, dude grabs the milk out of the fridge and the cereal. Dude pours himself some cereal, Spearlma pours herself some cereal. Dude pours himself some milk, Spearlma pours herself some milk. Dude opens the drawer and grabs a spoon, and then proceeds to close the drawer and walk out of the kitchen. Aw, come the fuck on! He couldn't be bothered to grab TWO spoons?!?! Essentially, if a man is dateable he will have a sort of underlying anticipation for the little things you might need, like a fucking spoon for the cereal he just watched you pour. Sheesh.

-FAMILY TIES: Dateable men will have a healthy relationship with their families, without hanging on to their mother's apron strings. If there is family strife, there should be clearly understood and legitimate reasoning.

-HYGIENE: Yeah, this should go without saying, but it often needs to be said. Guys, please. Be well versed in personal hygiene and spatial cleanliness (clothes, home, car, office space, what have you). And have enough dishes and utensils to host a small, modest dinner party (paper plates do not count), including having toilet paper in your house. The only exceptions are guys that have no possessions because they have just come back from living in Zimbabwe where they were developing sustainable argicultural projects or guys that have been traveling for extended periods of time or the like. If you have a home, make it liveable and be presentable in it.

-SMARTS: Advanced literacy, political interest if not insight, strong perception of the world, critical ability, steeped in educational or worldly experience, genuine interest in learning and being educated.

-SKILLS: I think this becomes increasingly important the older that I get, but guys need to be socially versatile and socially skilled. Not like they need to be wheelers and dealers, but they need to be able to blend into formal work affairs, lunches with Grandma, and drinking binges with buddies and still maintain fundamental aspects of their own personality. Someone who is approachable and understands tact.

-SPACE: Dateable people in general must have an understanding of boundaries and be able to maintain a realistic view of a person's need for space, privacy, and time with friends.

-THREADS: Every man should own a suit that fits and is appropriate for weddings, funerals, graduations, job interviews, etc. Every man should also know how to tie a tie. If he wants dates.

-FEELINGS: Men need to have the ability to express their feelings without reverting to infancy or having to pull quotes from ACDC lyrics. Bon Jovi lyrics, however, will be considered. Seriously, just talk to us. And be willing to speak for yourselves... in words.

-PERIODS: This one was added by my dear friend, Briznooks. Any man who is grossed out or takes issue with the fact that women have menstrual cycles and biological functions that make us human, is a mamby-pamby milktoast of a boy who doesn't deserve dates. Go back to your Japanimation cartoons, lost cause, you will never understand the marvel that is woman from which all human life springs. You are not worthy.

-IN SUM: People need to understand that relationships shouldn't be about building someone's self-esteem or confidence or social ability, they are simply opportunities to compliment someone's characteristics with your own. So, have good characteristics. And, from here on out, jealousy will be understood as blatant lack of self-confidence, without which you cannot expect someone to commit themselves to you. Period.


I really don't think it's that demanding a list. It's the basics. It was pointed out to us that these are qualities that people should expect from each other in general, for friendship. And I agree.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Reconstruction in Progress

I need badly to resurrect this sad little blog. Sitting here all dusty and stagnant and alone on the scary interweb. No visitors, just creepy automated posts by what seem to be robot Christian bloggers. Poor little blog.

The other day I was sitting at Hamilton Pool with Elliot drinking beers (grad school is so hard) and we were joking around about the phenomenon of life coaches who help people find their true bliss by encouraging them to follow their hearts away from the corporate world in order to open up boutique dog food shops or whatever. We were cracking up about it, trying on our life coach voices and all, rolling our eyes at how gullible people are. But fuck. For the last few months I have been sort of struggling to prioritize the steps I need to take to finish school and to find some sort of employment that I don't hate, and I gotta say that that shit is hard. And I am not saying that I need a life coach, you jerks, I'm just saying that it's hard to have your normal responsibilities and at the same time be in the process of planning your next step. Especially if that next step is a big one, like possibly moving to a new city, or back to one you came from so that you can commit yourself to a place long enough to make the sort of contacts and build the network you need to get the type of job you want. I personally feel like I need help, not just encouragement. It sucks to be in this weird sort of quasi-adult position where essentially the advice that you get from people is, "It's all going to work out in the end," or "You can do anything you put your mind to," or "You just got to get out there and do it." Um, DO FUCKING WHAT? A little soft-shoe? Balloon animals? An interpretative puppet show? What the fuck am I supposed to be doing? "Oh you'll figure it out..." Aw, shut up.

I am currently in a state of gross anti-productivity. I should be finishing up my master's degree and diligently working away on my master's project which is the last thing I have to do in order to be done. But it's not really happening. I've been thinking about it a lot (and why not? it's not like I'm fucking doing anything else) and my theory is that the light at the end of the tunnel is a little too close for comfort and it's hypnotizing me into inactivity. I'm a student, but I'm so close to being done that I feel like I should already have a job. But applying for jobs is so ruthlessly humbling that I spend most of my day licking my wounds and wasting a bunch of time and it has become pretty clear to me that I am pretty much just creating excuses for not being done with my degree on time so that I don't have to make any decisions about what I'm doing next. God, it feels good to say that.

Please understand, I truly appreciate the support and confidence of my loved ones, I really do. It's invaluable to me. But I also need someone to call me the fuck out when it's necessary (that was not an invitation), someone that is a little more in tune with the fact that people make lousy decisions and that I am fully capable of making some ridiculous ones and I might make a bad one again and it might fuck shit up for me. Ahh, Jesus, there it is. I'm not incapable of prioritizing, I'm scared of making the wrong decision. I'm generally a pretty confident person, but it only takes one really stupid decision (like say, leaving a perfectly good life to shack up with a drug addict who ends up breaking your heart and stealing all your shit) to make you think real hard on what it is you're about to do so that you don't find yourself in some unnecessary mess.

Man, it feels really good to articulate this. I've been convinced that I am just defective when it comes to transitions, but I'm not. I'm just scared. And that's sort of normal. And compared to the really stupid decision I mentioned above, pretty much every other option I have in my life right now would be an okay decision. I mean nothing that I decide at this point is going to cause my life to fall apart or my teeth to fall out no matter how many time I have that freaking dream.

It is a little daunting to be leaving the comfy confines of academia, not that it's the warmest place to be. I guess I keep waiting to feel like an adult with some mystical and unwavering security founded in my exceptional, grown-up competence. I think what I need to resign myself to is that me being an adult is pretty much this. Me. Now. It's almost comical. I have to have entire conversations with myself just to reassure myself that I am totally fine. Jesus.

Back to work on the project tomorrow.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Here's what I think about it.

The African always feels endangered. Nature on this continent strikes such monstrous and aggressive poses, dons such vengeful and fearsome masks, sets such traps and ambushes, that man lives with a constant sense of anxiety about tomorrow, in unabating certainty and dread. Everything here appears in an inflated, unbridled, hysterically exaggerated form. If there is a storm, then the thunderbolts convulse the entire planet, the lightening tears the sky to shreds; if there is a downpour, then a veritable wall of water pours from the heavens, threatening at any moment now to drown us and pound us into the ground; if there is a drought, then it is one that does not leave a drop of water behind, and we die of thirst. There is nothing here to temper the relations between man and nature- no compromise, no in-between stages, no gradations. Only ceaseless struggle, battle, a fight to the finish. From birth until death, the African is on the front line, sparring with his continent’s exceptionally hostile nature, and the mere fact that he is alive and knows how to endure is his greatest triumph.

-Ryszard Kapuscinski, The Shadow of the Sun (1998)


More than a half-century of persistent efforts by the World Bank and others have not altered the stubborn reality of rural poverty, and the gap between rich and poor is widening. Most of the world’s poorest people still live in rural areas and this will continue for the foreseeable future. The day when the goals for international development will be met is still far off in many parts of the world.

-The World Bank, Reaching the Rural Poor (2003)


In early August 2005, I sat in a cushioned chair in an air-conditioned conference room at the US Embassy in Nairobi, Kenya with Warren “Buck” Buckingham, Interagency Coordinator for the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) and the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR). He was explaining to my colleagues and me the war the US government, his agency, the governments of various countries, and NGOs around the world are waging against the AIDS pandemic. During our meeting, Mr. Buckingham outlined for us how by working with Kenyan government and non-governmental organizations, USAID and PEPFAR were making it possible for people living with AIDS in Kenya and other countries to receive antiretroviral drugs (ARVs) that assist in pro-longing life by increasing the capacity of the immune systems in a most ARV recipients. My colleagues and I were moved by the progress we assumed was being made through the coordinated efforts of the various groups involved. We felt that real change was being accomplished.

About a week after meeting Buck Buckingham, I sat in a wooden chair in the mud-walled home of Clarice, a 35-year-old mother of three who was dying of AIDS related illnesses in a small fishing village in western Kenya. Prior to falling ill, Clarice, whose husband died of AIDS years earlier, was the breadwinner of the family, supporting her children and her elderly mother. Once Clarice was too sick to work, the family lost all monetary income and now survives by farming a small piece of land adjacent to their home. When I sat down to talk with Clarice she was lying on a thin plastic mattress on the floor of the home and had been lying there for 8 months, suffering from bedsores and lacking even the strength to sit up.

****

Kunya Village, on the shores of scenic Lake Victoria is one of the most beautiful places that I have ever visited. On the day of my team’s arrival, a brief rainstorm had moved through the area and left behind it a massive and stunning rainbow that hung over the lake and distant mountains. We stared up at the rainbow in awe, snapped pictures of one another beneath it, and walked around as if in a world we had never known existed. In many ways, we were in a world we had never known existed. As American, middle-class college and graduate students, we were traversing unfamiliar territory. We were walking around in a community that our privilege afforded us ignorance of. While Kunya Village is extraordinarily beautiful, it is also extremely poor and geographically isolated from more developed parts of Kenya; the nearest adequately equipped hospital is in the city of Kisumu, two hours away by vehicle. And there is a scarcity, if not a complete absence, of vehicles in Kunya Village.

Fishing is the main source of revenue in Kunya. Fishermen from various parts of western Kenya travel to villages like Kunya to take advantage of Lake Victoria’s bounties. The fishermen bring money and the basis for village markets, however small those markets may be. The fishermen are recognized as having money, and in a poor rural village this creates a lot of opportunity for transactional sex to take place. It is not abnormal for women living in extreme poverty in Kenya to trade sex not just for money, but more often for food, clothing, or other basic items for themselves or their families. The consequences of this practice are stark: in Kenya the HIV infection rate on average is about four percent of the population, but in Kunya Village, with a population of about 3,000, community health workers estimate that 1 in 5 people is HIV-positive.

Kunya Village has no water or sewer systems. The entire village collects water from Lake Victoria to wash clothes and cook. Residents often wade into the lake to bathe. Some residents must come from several miles away to collect water, and while some enjoy the luxury of donkeys to transport heavy water buckets, others (mostly women) simply balance buckets and basins on their heads to get the water to their homes. The guidebooks that my colleagues and I had with us warned us not even to dip our toes in the waters of Lake Victoria, much less drink it, due to infestations of water parasites.

Kunya Village doesn’t have electricity, emergency response service, organized trash collection, or public transportation of any sort. The conditions in Kunya Village are almost standard in rural parts of Kenya. While USAID and PEPFAR initiatives should be applauded, they cannot help the vast number of people living in villages like Kunya, where even when residents know that resources (such as government provided ARVs for HIV-positive citizens) exist, they do not expect to have access to them.

****

While the conditions in Kunya Village are not unique to rural communities in Kenya, it has two things that countless villages like it don’t: Mama na Dada Africa and the Kunya Clinic. Mama na Dada is a small, non-governmental grassroots organization created in Kunya Village in the late ‘90’s by Joyce Oneko, an attorney by trade who now runs the organization full-time. “When I started Mama na Dada (mother and sister in Swahili) what I wanted was to encourage girls to stay in school because I felt the longer they stay in school the less vulnerable they become and they become wiser. So, as we went on encouraging girls to stay in school we found all these other problems in the community.”

One fundamental problem that Joyce and her staff encountered was that most people in the village did not have the means to eat more than one meal a day, “if you don’t have food, there is no way you can do anything else.” Focusing on women, Mama na Dada developed programs to teach sustainable agricultural practices using goat breeding, efficient farming methods, and nutritional education. The organization also started a sewing group that provides young women vocational training they can use to generate an income for themselves and their families. Without the support of the sewing group and lacking vocational skills, members of the group would likely engage in transactional sex with fishermen to provide for their families.

Mama na Dada initiates numerous community meetings to provide residents of Kunya Village with health measures they can take to avoid preventable diseases like malaria and typhoid. Avoiding preventable diseases is simple in theory but the reality in Kunya Village is complicated. Water borne disease and illness, like typhoid or diarrhea, are extremely common because residents use contaminated water from Lake Victoria for everyday use. While boiling the water is a healthy option, Joyce explains that in Kunya Village, “you have to make a choice: are you going to drink water or are you going to cook food? There isn’t enough firewood for both.” Malaria can be prevented through correct use of mosquito nets but most residents don’t have the money it takes to purchase them. The work that Mama na Dada is doing is an obvious benefit to its community, but it is a small organization with few resources and its reach is limited.

In 1999, the Kunya Clinic was established in Kunya Village. Several community members identified the need for a health facility in the region and donated land for the clinic’s site. Funds were drawn from the World Bank’s Lake Victoria Environmental Project to have the clinic erected. Once the clinic was in place, the Kenyan government provided a government employed community health nurse, David Olouch. “My work is to improve the health status of this community through treatment, education, and immunization.”

David is the clinic’s only paid employee and after 6 years the clinic still lacks adequate supplies and storage facilities. Every three months the clinic receives rations of “essential medicines” from the Ministry of Health, but the supply does not reflect the actual needs of the community. Once a week, the clinic offers basic immunizations for people in Kunya Village, but because the clinic has no refrigeration, all of the vaccines must be used the day they are received from the district hospital. The consequences of this are that the number of people who show up for vaccinations may be larger than the number available, so they are told to come back the following week. Disappointed by being turned away the week before or burdened by other responsibilities, residents often don’t return, so vaccinations go to waste. “This can be solved,” explains David, “If we had a solar panel and a refrigerator, we can immunize them anytime they come. And then we can plan, we can calculate how much we need and then (the vaccines) are always accessible.” The inconsistency in resources affects the credibility of the clinic in the community, “If they have no faith in us, we can’t teach them.” Until the clinic becomes more stable in resource provision, the community will not depend on it as a source for health treatment and education.

Because both want to uplift the community, Mama na Dada and the Kunya Clinic work in partnership. “We work as partners because our aim is one,” says David, “We work as partners because we cannot do it alone.” Many of their joint efforts go into raising the level of awareness on HIV/AIDS in the community through outreach and education. In examining the obstacles that Mama na Dada and the Kunya Clinic are facing it becomes clear that mobilizing a community to invest in its own future health is difficult when a majority of the residents who make up the community struggle day to day to obtain basic resources, like food.

****

In 2000, the United Nations created its Millennium Declaration, described by Kofi Annan, UN Secretary, as “an unprecedented promise by world leaders to address, as a single package, peace, security, development, human rights and fundamental freedoms.” The Declaration outlines eight Millennium Development Goals: to eradicate extreme poverty and hunger, achieve universal primary education, promote gender equality and empower women, reduce child mortality, improve maternal health, combat HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases, ensure environmental sustainability, and develop a global partnership for development; all of this by the year 2015. In a progress report released this year to measure the progress made, Annan asserts that the Millennium Goals, “form a blueprint agreed by all the world’s countries and all the world’s leading development institutions- a set of simple but powerful objectives that every man and woman in the street, from New York to Nairobi to New Delhi, can easily support and understand” (3).

The objectives are easy enough to understand. The difficulty lies in their implementation. While the UN’s Declaration documents the agreement of various countries to scrutinize development issues around the world it does not show how to approach those issues effectively. The UN’s progress report, written prior to the September summit of world leaders to assess “how far their pledges have been fulfilled,” demonstrates that poverty in sub-Saharan Africa, already the poorest geographical location in the world, has worsened over the last 15 years. Nearly one-third of children in sub-Saharan Africa are malnourished. Two-fifths of the populations do not have access to safe sources of drinking water. The number of people in sub-Saharan Africa who die of AIDS each year is roughly equivalent to the number of those who become newly infected.

The rhetoric currently dominating development discourse orbits around the concept of civil society as the solution that will lead communities, cultures, and countries away from the social problems that affect them. Governments and international aid agencies are lauding NGOs, people’s organizations, religious groups, professional associations, civic clubs, and the media as holding the key to social progress. Literature found on the World Bank’s website defines civil society as, “the groups and organizations, both formal and informal, which act independently of the state and market to promote diverse interests in society,” and goes on to say that “while individual groups form the building blocks of civil society, the concept’s value lies in the extent and density of relations among groups as well as the synergy between civil society, state and market.” CIVICUS, an international “alliance” whose mission is to “strengthen citizen action and civil society throughout the world,” produced a collection of essays called Civil Society at the Millennium (1999), which is full of statements like, “Civil society has become a force for challenging existing policies and institutions to work for the poor, and in so doing, is reshaping the rules of the game” (p. 138).

I’m not sure what the original rules of the game were, but it seems as though the new ones are still exclusionary. Essentially, “civil society has been called upon to shoulder an increasing share of the responsibility for eradicating poverty” (p.137). Yet, for civil society to be effective in social development, some modicum of sustainability must already exist. Civil society thrives in “an intellectual space, one in which it is recognized that all individuals through their diverse associations and organizations have the right to contribute to discussions about how to organize their society, deal with its problems, and ultimately define what kind of development is required and desired” (Howell and Pearce, 2001, p.13). If the groups that constitute civil society are organized enough to affect government or policy, then they are already included in a system that recognizes them as agents of change:

While civil society has always existed, it is an arena fully realized only in social formations dominated by the capitalist mode of production and only alongside the existence of the bourgeoisie. Civil society is where the bourgeoisie exercises its social and economic power, and the state is an artificial unity that gives true freedom only to those who own the means of production (33).

What about those individuals or groups who still exist outside of an organized and systemic society? What about the people and the communities clinging to the grassroots, literally struggling to stay alive? “Time and money are both crucial to the functioning of civil society. Engagement in voluntary public activity assumes surplus time and energy, which may be unevenly distributed across society in terms of age, class, and gender and across societies” (108).

Millennium Goals declarations publicize the living conditions of a huge number of people around the world. Initiatives such as PEPFAR are admirable attempts to address pressing issues. Yet, they do not serve to strengthen the foundations of the countries they are working in. Employing civil society in development rhetoric creates assumptions that any group can organize themselves to the point of political viability, which doesn’t account for the social structures that must be in place for civil society to be an effective option. According to Adigun Agbaje (1991), donor efforts to strengthen civil society are “not likely to add up to a meaningful intervention in the development process if (they are) not complimented by appropriate action to repair the state to enhance its capacity for development oriented activity,” especially in African nations where, “in a situation of increasing poverty and international debt, African states are simply unable to attain high levels of grassroots development or to support non-state action…Given the reality of state failure and incapacitation, where is self-help voluntary action expected to get the resources…to do the job?” (pgs. 25,34). In the late 1990’s institutions like the World bank recognized the “need for some state intervention to guarantee minimum living standards,” but there are still no clear outlines for assisting developing governments in becoming capable of such intervention (Howell and Pearce, 2001, p.66).

The huge, deep-pocketed, donor agencies that assert themselves as the main players in international development are now a third sector, replete with bureaucracy susceptible to political pressure and blind to the social complexity that plagues under-developed countries. The World Bank makes it possible for projects like the Kunya Clinic to exist but it doesn’t ensure that such projects will be operational. While the third sector is successful in employing millions of people around the world in various civil society agency and advocacy departments, it has been ineffective in making accessible continuous support for small, localized, and effective grassroots efforts:

The realization that there are barriers to entry into civil society, and that civil society is as much a captured field as the state and economy, underpins the growing interest among donors, politicians, and policymakers in the idea of “social exclusion.” In the context of unequal economic and social power, is it possible to have parity of association and participation in civil or political society? How can “the poor” and those on the margins of society find a voice in civil society? How can they finance associations and campaigns when the resources of corporate capital and privileged social groups are so much greater? Whose interests do donors promote in their civil society strengthening programs? (86).

Joyce explains that, “the government has not been really helpful. And when I talk about the government, it also involves the other agencies that give funding, people like UNICEF, OXFAM, the CDC. They do not want to deal with the smaller agencies that are not known, so people like us who are doing grassroots work on the ground find it difficult to get money. About 15-20 years ago when the civil society, the non-profit organizations, started trying to do development work in the country there was so much money that an NGO would get people together and just do handouts. That has been so engrained in people in communities that it has taken their power away.”

According to Joyce, governments and development institutions should “teach people that we can actually use the resources we have to improve our lives.” Instead, these institutions are propagating verbose and romantic rhetoric about development potential, imposing a development standard that may not be realistic for communities struggling with sustainability, or failing to follow through on the efficacy of development efforts. Joyce cites the misuse of water in Kunya Village, noting that the village is on Lake Victoria, “we have a lot of water and we still have famine when it doesn’t rain. Why can’t we use this water to do irrigation? If the government gave a little bit of assistance and gave education to the people to explain that if you use this resource you will still be able to get the food you need, it would help.” The suggestions Joyce makes are simple: she argues “attitude change is one of the biggest challenges we (in Kenya) are facing.” An attitude that combines grand declarations with ground-level pessimism means that organizations and communities like hers don’t get the type of support that would make a sustainable difference.

****

My aim is not to suggest that donor and development institutions and industries are unnecessary or that their efforts are unquestionably futile. Social strides have been made in developing countries, particularly concerning the public dissemination of information on basic human rights, since donor and development institutions began operations 60 years ago. Development is a concept that demands fundamental cultural shifts to be successful, which requires the participation of citizens of developing nations. It has become clear in the last two decades as the West has attempted to aid countries like Kenya in creating economic and social sustainability that there is no tried and true model to employ to ensure a projected outcome. And as the rhetoric has shifted from a top down to a civil society initiated development approach, funding has spread out to address a wider variety of development issues and initiatives. Civil society, however, has its limits and is largely an intellectual theory that needs a basic social infrastructure in place to be effective.

Development has become a competitive enterprise in which struggling grassroots organizations and communities must fight to gain access to the most basic resources. For a community to be deserving of the types of infrastructure that would allow it to be sustainable, local, politically viable organizations savvy to the language of donor institutions must exist within it. Those communities that lack the types of organizations that could fight for their rights are completely off the development radar which means that the most disenfranchised, the most geographically isolated and the poorest people in the world are unaccounted for by civil society, development institutions, and their governments. So, while the United Nations creates its bulleted list of global problems to address in the next 15 years, a person like Clarice, who lives in a country now capable of supplying her with drugs that could prolong her life and allow her to provide for her family, remains a casualty of the present lack of infrastructure.

Toward the end of our trip in Kenya, my colleagues and I met once more with Buck Buckingham, the interagency coordinator for USAID and PEPFAR. We talked with him about how his agency’s efforts weren’t reaching people in rural parts of Kenya, that in those areas people were dying of, rather than living with, AIDS. We asked him what a country like Kenya needs in order to effectively deal with a problem like HIV/AIDS, especially when so many Kenyans are more concerned with eating than with being educated on the disease. He responded by saying that until countries like Kenya have sound governance that citizens have faith in, it doesn’t matter how much money and aid foreign bodies funnel in to deal with specific problems; it simply won’t be enough. President Bush’s PEPFAR program is committing 15 billion dollars over five years to fifteen developing countries. It is an ambitious project that demands the efforts of many people around the world. But until individuals, civil society, and donor institutions and industries are committed to strengthening the governments of developing nations so that infrastructures that citizens can build a society on exist, we can expect disappointment. The rhetoric may change, but the reality won’t.


Works Cited:

Agbaje, Adigun. “In search of Building Blocks: The State, Civil Society, Voluntary Action and Grassroot Development in Africa,” Africa Quarterly. Vol. 30, Num.3-4, 1991.

CIVICUS: World Alliance for Citizen Participation: http://www.civicus.org

Howell, Jude and Jenny Pearce. Civil Society and Development: A Critical Exploration. Lynne Rienner Publishers, Inc: Boulder, CO. 2001.

Kapuscinski, Ryszard. The Shadow of the Sun. Vintage Books: New York, NY. 1998.

Weisen, Caitlin, Geoffrey D. Prewitt and Babar Sobhan. “Civil Society and Poverty: Whose Rights Count?,” Civil Society at the Millennium. Kumarian Press, Inc: West Hartford, CT. 1999.

The United Nations Millennium Development Goals and The Millennium Development Goals Report 2005 (book downloaded): http://www.un.org/millenniumgoals/index.asp

The World Bank. Reaching the Rural Poor: A Renewed Strategy for Rural Development. The International Bank for Reconstruction and Development/The World Bank: Washington, DC. 2003.

The World Bank: http://www.worldbank.org

Interviews:

Buckingham, Warren “Buck.” Interagency Coordinator, PEPFAR. August 9, 2005. Nairobi, Kenya.

Oluoch, David. Community Health Nurse, Kunya Clinic. August 22, 2005. Kunya Village, Kenya.

Oneko, Joyce. Founder and Director, Mama na Dada Africa. August 22, 2005. Kunya Village, Kenya.

Works Referenced:

Allen, Chris. “Who Needs Civil Society?” Review of African Political Economy. Vol. 24, Num. 73, September 1997.

Chazan, Naomi, et al. Politics and Society in Contemporary Africa. Lynne Rienner Publishers, Inc: Boulder, CO. 1999.

Easterly, William. The Elusive Quest for Growth: Economists’ Adventures and Misadventures in the Tropics. MIT Press: Boston, MA. 2001.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Kenya Updates

Nakuru, Kenya 8-10

Hello people. I'm writing from an internet cafe in Nakuru. I just bought some earrings from astreet vendor for 200 shillings, Roxanne is playing in the background, the sunis shining, life is beautiful.

We drove into Kericho yesterday and went to a rural community where there is a group of women who support orphans in their community who have been abandoned due to AIDS. Often, children are literally left alone to fend for themselvesif their parents die from AIDS. There was and continues to be a lot of stigmatization placed on people living with AIDS and children with AIDS are no exception. Things are changing though and we have met and talked with a lot of progressive minded folks who are doing amazing things for their community. Anyway, we went to this community yesterday and were greeted with people singing and dancing in their native language. It was literally one of the most amazing things I have ever been a part of in my life. I can't reallybegin to articulate it. It was just one of the most beautiful days I have ever experienced. All captured on film and video, of course. The children squealed with laughter every time I bent over and revealed the "drawing" on my back. By the end of the visit they were all calling me butterfly. I could literally cryjust thinking about it. That is a basic snapshot of how this trip is going. We have met the coolest people and seen some fucking amazing shit.

Some highlights:
-Zebras on the side of the road driving from Nairobi to Nakuru
-A rainbow that looked like it was being illuminated from inside
-A serious run in with some not-happy muslims in a slum in Nairobi
-Toilets that warrant having their picture taken
-having no recollection of the last time I showered
-Disco dancing to Bon Jovi at a club in Nakuru followed by drunken wrestlingthat resulted in the destruction of a perfectly good mosquito net

And we haven't even been here a week. Needless to say, I am having an amazing time. It's been nice knowing you. I am never coming back.

Much love, of course, Tamara

***********

Kitale, Kenya 8-16

Hello,people. So we are heading to Kitale today. It is about a 5 hour drive from Nakuru (where we are now) and is supposed to be more agricultural. I am really curious to see it as compared to Nakuru which is far less city-like than Nairobi. The further west we go, the more rural the areas we visit are. The rural areas tend more towards traditional cultural practices than the cities and apparently the areas around Kitale are the parts of the country where practices like wife inheritance still come into play. We will be spending 4 days with an orginazation called Common Ground which has program sites in the rural areas around Kitale and then we will go to the Nyanza province near LakeVictoria for 4 days to visit a program called Mama na Dada. There are descriptions of both at www.villagevolunteers.org under the 'programs' menu if you are so inclined. It will be nice to spend a few days with specific organizations rather than visiting a different organization or multiple organizations in a day. We are still having a good time although I have to say that things have been pretty heavy. The other day we went into a slum in Nakuru that borders a huge trash dump and we met with organized groups of people who literally live off of the trash that they collect. They have programs in place where people salvage trash to use as materials for making bags and such and an "organic" composting program. It makes sense that people use trash as a resource, but the fact that these groups are looking for help to assist them in living off of trash rather than attempting to make a different life for themselves is a sign of how dire alot of people's circumstances are here. At one point during the visit a woman from one of the groups wanted to lead us in a prayer and them proceeded to literally yell to god in swahili about the help that they need. I realizedthat I have never and problably will never need or want anything as bad as she does. As a lot of people here do. It is ridiculous how easy our lives are in comparison to others.

I have to go meet the team now to start heading out. The roads here are pretty rough to say the least, but we have a fearless driver named Kamau who has managed to see us through some pretty sketchy situations. He is a riot, barely speaks english but is prone to randomly yell out, TAM-A-RA, for no reason at all. It's good shit, I tell you. Apparently my name is the easiest for people to pronounce. The real difficulty comes when people try to say Matt or Courtney. They just quit trying after awhile. But, for whatever reason my name translates to them. Thanks Mama and Papa.

Hope all is well with you and yours. I will be in touch.

Much love always, TAM-A-RA

**************

Kisumu, Kenya 8-24

Hello people. So, we have spent the last week and a half in western Kenya, getting to know some awesome organizations. For the last four days we were in Kunya Village which is in the Nyanza provice right on Lake Victoria. We were staying with an organization called Mama na Dada and the grounds looked right over the lake and distant mountains. The second day we were there, there was this sick rainbow right over the lake. It was so fucking beautiful I didn't know what to do with myself. I almost threw up.

It's amazing that an area so physically beautiful can be so ravished by a disease. We spoke with community health care workers who estimate that one in five people in the area are infected with HIV. The Kenyan government has programs in place whereby HIV+ citizens who have white cell counts below a certain number are able to get ARVs for free. The problem is that it's really difficult for people in rural areas to get the drugs. Often, people won't be tested, even though they know that resources exist, simply because they know that they will not be able to get to the drungs consistantly. Kisumu is the closest city to Kunya Village and it takes about two hours to get to by car. And NO ONE has a car. They don't even have running water or electricity. All of their water comes from the lake, which is by no means clean (we were warned to not even dip a pinky toe in it, much less drink it) and the community health workers told us that while AIDS is devestating the community, large numbers of people die from diarehea due to contaminated water and food. It's literally a struggle for them to survive. Mind boggling.

I went on a home visit while we were there and I met a woman named Clarice who is dying of AIDS. She has three children and they all live with her mother who is the caregiver for all of them. They have no income and Clarice hasn't beenable to get off of her mattress for 8 months. She was very open and candid and even though at this point she is pretty much skeletal, you can tell she was once exceptionally beautiful. You could also tell from looking at her kids. We talked with her and when we left I thanked her and shook her hand. She is so small and thin, it's crazy. It was completely surreal to leave her little mudhouse and walk out and look across some of the most beautiful scenery i have ever seen in my life. Things are pretty heavy, but we still manage to have a good time. Many of the organization directors that we meet make comments about how much we laugh. The people here seem to enjoy the fact that we are always willing to make asses of ourselves singing and dancing with them and we gorge ourselves on the food they offer. We think we might be the only people to come to eastern Africa who manage to gain weight. Communication between the team is good, and we are all aware of the magnatude of the experience we are having. It has truly been anamazing trip. There are moments, both beautiful and devastating, burned into my mind that will never go away. Everyday is incredible.

On a lighter note, some highlights:
-The road to Kunya Village which was less a road and more a path for bikes and donkeys. Literally. It turned my ass into hamburger.
-No running water and 8 people in one room. By the end we went out in teams to scope out places to take a crap and high fived each other when we thought we had found a particularly sweet spot. Simple pleasures.
-I literally have no recollection of the last time I showered. I'm pretty sure there is something living in my hair.
-Standing in a windstorm at night looking over the lake while lightening lit up the sky. We had drank a lot of wine. I'm not going to lie, I took my shirt off. It was glorious.

I have to go, we are driving back to Nakuru today and then back to Nairobi tomorrow. The trip is coming to an end. I'm going to weep like a child when they drop me off at the airport.

Hope all is well.

Much love, Tamara

**********

Nairobi, Kenya 8-26

So we are back in Nairobi and I have to admit that I am really bummed about it. We have been able to see some amazing places and get to know some of the best people and now it really feels like the trip is over. Nairobi is a big, dirty city and we have a couple of days of work left and we are all completely burned out on the documentary tip. Today we are going into Kibera which is regarded as one of the worst slums in Africa. We drove through there the first week we were here, just on the outskirts, and while most people found our presence novel and humorous, at least once I heard a hearty, 'Fuck you' float out of the crowd. I know it will all be fine, but I am bitchy about being back in Nairobi and the fact that yesterday we had to say goodbye to Denis Kimambo, one of our guides,who I had grown really attached to. We meet him in Nakuru and we documented the work he is doing with community and street theater to raise awareness on HIV and AIDS in slums. He traveled with us to Kitale and Kunya Village and had really become a part of the group. Dropping him off yesterday, I felt that involuntary quiver in my chin and was sort of flooded by the realization of how far away my life is from this place. I am so happy that I have met the peoplethat I have along the way, but it always sucks to say goodbye not really knowing when or if you will see them again. Shitty. And it's gray, cold, and rainy in Nairobi. I need a hug.

We leave late Sunday night and get into Austin late Monday evening. We have a 9 hour layover in London, so we might try to pop into the city for lunch or to hit up a pub. No big deal.

It's a strange thing to be aware of life changing events as they are happening to you. The reality of the devestation of poverty and disease on developing countries is the burden of my generation, I think. If these issues aren't adequately addressed in my lifetime then I think it's fair to say that this generation will have failed. Of course, that is just my opinion.

I'll be okay, I promise. On a lighter note, in the hotel where we are currently staying, if you turn on the shower the water sprays directly into the toilet. It's fuckinh genius I tell you... genius.

Mad love always, Tamara

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

um, Hello?

Is anyone even checking this shit anymore? The four of you that check it, I mean. Took me a little break, I did. Having some difficulty managing my time. Because I have far too much of it.

So, I have been trying to decide on what to talk about here and at first I wanted to talk about whether or not the internet is a viable place to meet people. I had all this ammo about Friendster and MySpace, and how if those sites are actual meeting places then I am being cock-blocked by some of the comments people post about me. My friendsters seem to make me sound gay, and my myspacers make me out to be a complete lush (hush your mouth people). But I'm bored with that already.

I want to talk about anticipation instead. And here is why: one of my best friends from high school, Summar, came to visit me in Austin and the first night she was in we went out downtown. It was Saturday night and Summar was all gimped out from a knee injury, and seeing that downtown Austin on the weekends is completely unnavigable by car, we got around on bike taxis. In case you don't know, bike taxis are everywhere around downtown Austin on the weekends. It's a pretty sweet deal, they take you to what ever bar you are hopping to and you pay them whatever you want, as they can only be paid in tips.

Anyway, it's the end of the night, bars are closing, and me and my lady friend are totally drunk. Me and ole' limpy wave down a bike taxi for the last leg of the evening and some random bike taxi dude picks us up and we are on our way. Being the obnoxious drunks that we are, we immediately start talking the guy up, friendly style, in no way implying that either of our ultimate motives was to hook up with this bike taxi dude. At some point, dude asks me for my phone number and thinking I would cut him off at the chase I asked for his number instead and then after he dropped us off I proceeded to leave some retarded message on his phone with Summar laughing her ass off in the background.

We go home and I, of course, proceed to completely forget about the entire encounter.

Fast-forward a few days and I begin to get calls from a number I don't recognize on my cell phone. Many calls. Producing many messages and text messages. Apparently bike taxi guy did not forget about the encounter and now, three days later, is hell bent on getting me to answer my phone. The thing is, I honestly could not pick this guy out in a line up, I have virtually no recollection of talking to him at all. And the messages he was leaving were seriously creepy and getting creepier and he is very, very insistent, and so... I never answered the phone. After two days of calling every few hours, he stops. I think I'm off the hook. Then a couple days later, he starts calling again and leaving messages that were genuinely becoming scary. He was trying to call me out on not having the human decency to return a phone call or the individuality to not "play the game." I must reiterate here that this was a guy I met for about 4 minutes while I was drunk and we had no physical contact whatsoever. All in all, and I am joking not at all about this, he left approximately 15 texts messages and about 30 minutes worth of voice mail messages on my cell phone. I crap you negatory (as my friendster Mike would say).

Now, I understand the apprehension one can have at attempting to contact someone that you barely know in order to, perhaps, get to know them. I am no stranger to making the first move, which makes me familiar with the anticipation of the response. And while my response to this particular advance was admittedly passive and maybe even cold (but come on, one four minute conversation doesn't obligate me to further dialogue I ain't interested in having), since when has disappointment not been a potential outcome of anticipation? And I say this as a realist, not a pessimist. If I had a dime for everytime I crossed my fingers and did a little prayer dance in hopes that on the other end of the ringing phone was some potential hook-up partner I would cash that shit in and buy every person I've ever pined for in my life a fucking steak dinner. With dessert. Not calling back is international code for getting blown off. Is it just me, or don't you sort of just chalk that shit up as their loss?

In thinking about this I was reminded of a game we used to play in elementary school called '7-Up.' Essentially, seven students were chosen from the class (of about 25-30) and they stood at the front of the class while the rest of the students put their heads down on their desks (no peeking!) with one fist out. The seven up would then mosey among their blinded classmates and each would choose one kid by tapping the kid's fist; the kid would respond to the tap by turning their closed fist into a thumbs-up. Once the seven up had each chosen a person the teacher would call out "SEVEN UP!" and everyone would raise their heads and those with their thumb up would try to guess who chose them. If they guessed correctly then they got to be one of the 7 up and so the game went.

I describe this game not because it translates into a really fun adult drinking game, but because I clearly remember the anticipation of having my head down on the desk, waiting, and hoping, and practically willing someone to touch my hand so I could put my thumb up. I remember hearing the seven kids up shuffling around my desk, I could sense them wanting to touch my hand. And when I was chosen, there was an almost tangible sense of satisfaction, marked by a private grin on my concealed face. I won't even go into the flushed anticipation that occurred when one of the seven up was a boy I had a crush on. My point though, is that sometimes, many times, I wouldn't get chosen. Crush or not. Sometimes I went several rounds without getting chosen; and my built up anticipation would drain out of me like a leaky balloon. But that was the game: sometimes you will be chosen, and sometimes you won't. You can't fight the anticipation, but you can't always expect that it will go your way. I don't think that sounds so ridiculous.

All of a sudden I realize the importance of teaching kids useful games. As well as the benefits of just fucking walking.